In honor of all the true believers out there:
The new way to save CO2 emissions:
Gravity—it’s everywhere and it’s FREE! Instead of using gas to drive cars downhill, the car will automatically shut off when a sensor indicates a sufficient slope for gravity to work. Cars will be retrofitted to compensate for power steering and braking loss when the ignition is shut off. Perhaps a battery backup can be utilized. Large vehicles such as semi tractor-trailers will need more costly upgrades. This cost can be born by the taxpayers through direct grants to tractor-trailer operators and an increase in consumer goods cost. Buses will have the same problem—costly retrofits which will be covered by taxpayers and consumers. It’s a small price to pay to save the planet from CO2.
Many, many jobs will be created while doing the retrofits and in maintaining those retrofits. Bluetooth will be installed to connect to GPS and ignition, automatically shutting off the engine as the car goes downhill. These modifications will not be optional. If not made, the car cannot be licensed. We can exempt ambulances and police vehicles from the gravity use modifications if models indicate this is necessary. An app will be available to calculate the speed your car will be going down hill based on the weight of your car and entering speed. Just an FYI to make the downhill runs more pleasurable and to show you how well gravity is working. Gravity is very reliable— it always works and always at the same rate—it’s physics! How could you argue with physics? Some states may need to remove laws from books that say one cannot coast downhill, but in view of the importance of saving the planet, this should be no problem.
Coasting downhill should save a significant amount of fossil fuels, which is why we need to immediately begin work on adapting all vehicles to use this free fuel.
Gypsy wagons, total eclipses
Modern society still follows the gypsy wagon and is still buying the medicine show, only with government subsidies for the gypsies. People are not noticeably smarter than in the past, they just have more tech. Modern societies no longer think world is ending when a total eclipse occurs, but rather, the world ending will be due to an invisible gas that is produced by modern society. I think it was probably better to believe a total eclipse is end of world—this belief was much more quickly dispelled when the world was still there unchanged after the sun returned in its entirety. Thereafter, the profits of doom who said the eclipse was a serious sign of impending disaster had to modify what they were preaching . They could have pointed out more rain, less rain, more violent storms, more insects, less insects, etc were actually now, after the eclipse, signs that we were not safe at all and more money needed to be spent on their snake oil to prevent coming doom. Today, the profits of doom point to CO2 as the new threat to the future. To reinforce that belief, they point to the usual weather events (tornadoes, hurricanes, floods) and claim these are increasing and a direct result of raising CO2. This belief is more difficult to break than the “the sun blacking out midday” is as a sign of impending doom. The antagonists can invoke “science” as a justification, something the profits of doom never had to contend with when using the total eclipse as the sign of end times. This enemy is invisible, but apparently very easily sold when coupled with “science”. The gypsy wagons could have been so much more profitable and respected if they had only had “science” on their side. Modern society is proof of this.